Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize
