so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
