This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
