Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
