i'm lost and i look like a hooker
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
