Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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