omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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