oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
