is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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