do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
