i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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