C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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