why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
