I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
How naked do you want me to be?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize