This dress was meant to end up on your floor
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
this boner is exhausting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
They left me at home... I'm a liability
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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