I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
