So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
