I think im going to throw up on grandma
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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