There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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