All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
