Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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