I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
