can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Less talking, more tequila
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize