that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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