I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize