watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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