Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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