when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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