he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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