Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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