And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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