i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Randomize
