New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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