That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
