Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
