I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
