hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Boobs speak an international language.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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