Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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