If that was your dad, he is hot
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
