whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
