His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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