so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
