just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
