sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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