I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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