and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
whose parrot is this?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
