I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
