Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize