so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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