He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
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But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
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The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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