Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
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Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
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We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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