So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
