...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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