Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
