I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
