he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
