he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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