We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
