I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
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My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
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AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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