Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
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I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
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ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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