You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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